starting this up for sanity sake

So it was generally a rough day yesterday. God has been working on my heart about a lot of things and I had a major break down yesterday afternoon. Crying, yelling, the whole bit. The children went to sleep pretty fast. You know Jay is scared of momma when he asks for nigh nights please momma. Afternoon was good and evening was even better. Jay ceases to crack me up with his constant fears. Everything they say about adventurous boys is thrown out the window with that on. He was terrified when he got up to the top of the steps at the chic fil a playground he was frozen screaming crying. Of course they dont make those things to easily fit us "fuller" moms! Luckily David Dubois was there to climb up and help Jay get through to the slide. Once he slid down (and by slide I mean scoot by scoot meander down) he want to cheerfully go "AGAIN." um that was a no. Came home put the boys to bed, chatted with my husband in bed and we both fell asleep......Miles window breaking screams started at 2:45. I am not in the habit of letting babies cry it out. It is like emotional, physical torment for me. I feel ill the whole time and if he gets queit for a few minutes i cant calm down enough to relax until the next cries start. And they did, for an hour straight. I believe he is officially asleep, its now 4:15. Miles is such a stubborn boy. With Jay we used so many methods to soothe him, rocking, patting, shhhing, the paci, etc. NOTHING works with Miles, he just wants to be nursed. But he doesnt need it and I dont want to create a bad habit, or at least prolong what i have created. It is soo hard for me to listen to his cries though knowing it would take me less than five minutes to put him back to sleep using that method. But I must endure this for him and for me! I blog about this cause I normally would chat with my husband about it, but thats the great thing about husbands, THEY CAN SLEEP THROUGH ANYTHING!

The blessing out of it, Jay stayed asleep the whole time! And they share a room!