breast is best...

So I am cleaning the house today and getting the meat out to thaw for dinner, when I notice the three bags of breastmilk I still have frozen in the freezer. Three of them, one from July, one from August, and one from April! The one from April was the 9 ouncer. For all of you breastfeeding moms this may be nothing to you, but for some it may be a lot. For me its the beast of milk. The most I have ever pumped in one sitting I believe. Hence it still being in there. When Davon watched Miles or anyone for that matter, I would specifically say "Dont use the 9 oz bag." Just looking at it made me proud and I did not want to waste it. Well now, I am not even sure if its useable!

This leads me to my story. I will make it quick because I know I hate reading long blogs!

Miles was a surprise baby for us. We were NOT planning on it and were not ready for him. (or so we thought:) I was not excited through most of my pregnancy, I was probably more excited for all of my friends that were pregnant than for myself. The one thing I was excited about was the chance to actually enjoy nursing. I didnt enjoy it with Jay. He was so tiny when he was born it made it difficult and then I kept getting infections here and there and he kept getting thrush. By the end (10 months) he pushed me away. At about 7 months though I had introduced formula so it was fine. But I was forever sad about it. So with Miles I was excited, a new baby a new chance, and sooo much easier.....

Miles was born, latched great, I was in heaven. 2 days later my milk came in along with a yeast infection. (in the breast-apparently I wrote yeast infection on facebook and my friend josh thought it was someplace else:)--i was embarrassed!-something about that made me feel shy, but anything boob related I could care less, I guess its a nursing mom thing?) Anyway this type of pain I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. I have had two babies with no pain medication and I would take that over this infection. It feels like glass coming through your nipples. Not to mention that they would bleed and form sores and scabs that would rip off every time he nursed. Which was every three hours. As soon as the pain started I knew what it was remembering with Jay. It kept getting worse though. I went to the lactation consultants within a week of having Miles. I was then diagnosed with Reynauds Syndrome. Its when something goes through trauma if anything cold touches it, even air, blood flow stops rushing to it. It too is very painful. So the treatment for yeast is air and no moisture, the treatment for reynauds is heat. ? Then a day later I started running a fever of 104. I developed mastitis from a clogged infected duct. The treatment for a clogged duct is heat, but with a fever I need cold packs. Also treatment for mastitis is antibiotics, which actually breed yeast. ....and around and around we go. So after about 3 solid weeks I could nurse pain free. I actually kept going! I reached out to anyone that would listen to my cries and knew what I was going through. Most of my friends thought I was crazy not to quit, even the lactation consultant told me she would be surprised if I made it to 6 weeks let alone 6 months. I kept going and kept getting infections. Kept paying the $50 for meds to treat it. Until finally i realized uv rays made the infection go away. So instead of sitting butt naked in the sun, I went to the tanning bed. Not only was it helping me nurse, but I was starting to look pretty hot! So I kept going. Through prayer, meds, the tanning bed and stubbornness I made it! I am actually still going. Not everyday, but whenever I want to, or Miles wants to. Cause I can.

So anyway this is just what one bag of breastmilk led me to.

.....and I guess it ended up being super long anyway!