many roles of a mom

In my discipleship group we have been talking about spiritual gifts and if we are using ours, especially when we are all stay at home moms and spend all waking hours with our children. This is a hard thing for me to answer. I believe that the proverbs wife, and the wife referred to in Titus all are home ministries. After all, it really is the wife that runs the household right?! So yes, this is a job, and the most important. So is that myself, or am I losing myself? I keep trying to make myself into some super mom I think. I try to will it up myself.

The playful mom: one that always play with her kids instead of checking email, watching tv, or checking facebook (yeah right, thats what I want people to believe, but it actuality, I am blogging while Jay is watching curious george?!).

The crafty mom: one that is always working on projects with the kids, teaching them new things about the world around us, always knitting something new, or coming up with some cool project.

The stylish mom: one that always looks cute and trendy, not your typical mom jeans/ denim skirt.

a chef mom: one that is always coming up with new ideas of what to cook or bake, and because of this my kids will always be wonderful eaters (this is drenched with sarcasm).

the volunteer mom: one that is active in the community around me, and my church. Always ready to help where ever its needed. Teenagers love me and want to be around me and my family.

So many roles I feel like i need to fill. But in all of this am I working for man, or for God? I think that the answer is plain as day. I think that facebook gives an unrealistic picture of moms, its yourself writing what good things you can think of (for the most part). Can we be honest and say that we fall short a lot? Or at least I do? I am trying to will myself to play all these roles. So what role does God want me to play, and in that am I using the spiritual gifts that God has equipped me with? I think that this is the hardest thing for me as a stay at home mom. How about you?

Sleep....

All day yesterday Miles had a fever, from 101 to 103. So I anticipated a loooonng night with him. I put him to bet at 7:30 after giving tylenol around 5pm. He went to sleep without a peep. At around 11 Davon and I hear him saying "mama, mama". Davon goes in to check and says he is burning up. Fever was 103, yet this kid was not crying, but smiling and laughing. We gave him ice water, tylenol and kissed him, in turn he waved and plainly said "Nigh-Night". Put him down and he woke up at 8 this morning....love this kid.

On the other hand my sabator, Jay, had nightmares all night, waking every hour and a half or so, and even wet the bed. All the while my sick Miles slept.

I love them both. I love miles sleep:) Sorry Jay.

slow down

lately i feel like I have been trying to reach out and make my place here in atlanta and not spend enough time with my boys. I have been making friends and going out, designing playdates (when the one doing the "playing" is the shy one and would rather be home). Trying to get out of the house as much as I can.

I have been also very crabby and short tempered lately. Waking up with a bad attitude vs spending time with the Lord and being ready to take on the day.

Tomorrow I have discipleship in the morning babysitting in the afternoon. Friday busy morning of car stuff and then Bricks at night. So saturday, you are my day for time with my boys, playing at the park riding bikes, whatever is kiddish and fun.

I love having sons, i love they both like to get dirty (it took jay a minute), I love that we can just go play and they can be blissfully happy.

I just had to write this down, in some ways now that I have written I feel like I am being held accountable to step it up as a mother.

kids say the darndest....

Sometimes Jay says the cutest things and then I totally forget. My mom keeps telling me that I need to write it down...and then I forget to write it....

lately Jay is into encouragement and words of affirmation (a kid after my heart);

Davon and I were on our way out to a fancy dinner and he was dressed up, Jay said "Woah daddy, youre the boss."

Davon was eating his dinner all gone, which is not unexpected in our house, and Jay looked at him and said "daddy you are eating dinner all gone, oooh daddy, I'm so proud of you."

He constantly calls his cousin Marley a pretty princess.

He always says, "Momma, you are the prettiest girl in the world, so beautiful."

For some reason he has not been that encouraging to my dad. "Popi, why are your feet so yucky, whats wrong with your toes?"

The other day we were sitting at the dinner table and Jay looked at him and plainly states, "Popi, you need a shower!"

To which my mom lost it and asked Jay, "How do I look?" He replies-"Noni, your a babe!"

I love this kid and his comments.

breast is best...

So I am cleaning the house today and getting the meat out to thaw for dinner, when I notice the three bags of breastmilk I still have frozen in the freezer. Three of them, one from July, one from August, and one from April! The one from April was the 9 ouncer. For all of you breastfeeding moms this may be nothing to you, but for some it may be a lot. For me its the beast of milk. The most I have ever pumped in one sitting I believe. Hence it still being in there. When Davon watched Miles or anyone for that matter, I would specifically say "Dont use the 9 oz bag." Just looking at it made me proud and I did not want to waste it. Well now, I am not even sure if its useable!

This leads me to my story. I will make it quick because I know I hate reading long blogs!

Miles was a surprise baby for us. We were NOT planning on it and were not ready for him. (or so we thought:) I was not excited through most of my pregnancy, I was probably more excited for all of my friends that were pregnant than for myself. The one thing I was excited about was the chance to actually enjoy nursing. I didnt enjoy it with Jay. He was so tiny when he was born it made it difficult and then I kept getting infections here and there and he kept getting thrush. By the end (10 months) he pushed me away. At about 7 months though I had introduced formula so it was fine. But I was forever sad about it. So with Miles I was excited, a new baby a new chance, and sooo much easier.....

Miles was born, latched great, I was in heaven. 2 days later my milk came in along with a yeast infection. (in the breast-apparently I wrote yeast infection on facebook and my friend josh thought it was someplace else:)--i was embarrassed!-something about that made me feel shy, but anything boob related I could care less, I guess its a nursing mom thing?) Anyway this type of pain I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. I have had two babies with no pain medication and I would take that over this infection. It feels like glass coming through your nipples. Not to mention that they would bleed and form sores and scabs that would rip off every time he nursed. Which was every three hours. As soon as the pain started I knew what it was remembering with Jay. It kept getting worse though. I went to the lactation consultants within a week of having Miles. I was then diagnosed with Reynauds Syndrome. Its when something goes through trauma if anything cold touches it, even air, blood flow stops rushing to it. It too is very painful. So the treatment for yeast is air and no moisture, the treatment for reynauds is heat. ? Then a day later I started running a fever of 104. I developed mastitis from a clogged infected duct. The treatment for a clogged duct is heat, but with a fever I need cold packs. Also treatment for mastitis is antibiotics, which actually breed yeast. ....and around and around we go. So after about 3 solid weeks I could nurse pain free. I actually kept going! I reached out to anyone that would listen to my cries and knew what I was going through. Most of my friends thought I was crazy not to quit, even the lactation consultant told me she would be surprised if I made it to 6 weeks let alone 6 months. I kept going and kept getting infections. Kept paying the $50 for meds to treat it. Until finally i realized uv rays made the infection go away. So instead of sitting butt naked in the sun, I went to the tanning bed. Not only was it helping me nurse, but I was starting to look pretty hot! So I kept going. Through prayer, meds, the tanning bed and stubbornness I made it! I am actually still going. Not everyday, but whenever I want to, or Miles wants to. Cause I can.

So anyway this is just what one bag of breastmilk led me to.

.....and I guess it ended up being super long anyway!

growing up and slimming down...

So I think as Miles grows, gets more active and starts to walk, he is getting more and more slim. My chubby baby is soon to be no more. As he gets older he gets skinnier, today this seems to familiar........Why is it that most of my friends have lost weight or gotten smaller since high school, or even college. I have NEVER had a losing weight issue. Its always gain. Sometimes I get super frustrated about it. Does it just come easy for these people, is it just growing up, or are they working it off? Either way sometimes I would like to delete my facebook just so I dont have to see it!!

On a encouraging not, my sister and I have been walking almost everyday. Today we got up to 4 miles! Next week she wants to add in running.....

Post this one as my profile pic.....I can hear it now "wow she looks ahhmazing!"

snuggle bugs

Tuesday mornings Davon gets up and goes to work at 5:45, he has discipleship. So what it his usual job of changing miles diaper and taking jay to the potty becomes my job. I thought I was done nursing, but Miles is always super fussy when I get him in the morning, I find the only thing that calms him is the nursing, so I am still going. (Don't worry I am most definitely not a believer in nursing a child that can ask you for it) So after nursing Miles, I get he and Jay situated on the couch under a blanket-cause its fall and oooh so chilly! So now as I write the are watching the cat in the hat, eating cherrios, while Miles head is resting on Jay's shoulder. Sure there is the normal, "Miles is taking my cherrios", "Miles is gonna hit me," "Miles, is being fussy at me," but if you could put the scene on mute it would be so adorable:)

of course in the picture no snuggling is happening, they are not good at staying in character for pictures yet!
and please excuse the shiner on miles forehead, a shelf fell on him:) (he's the climbing monkey of the family!)