the cupcake vs the grapefruit...

I went to the gym today. I fought it waking up this morning, but the repetitive three year old who kept saying "mama wake up come watch a show with me, come snuggle me, please, can i have an apple, can you cut it mama..." and so on, made me get up and get ready fast:) Spending time talking to the Lord on the way there was refreshing, then of course putting on my 'not so holy' ludacris was exhilirating:) I was now ready to take on the day. (I act as if this is a daily thing for me, obviously not, but I am trying to make it be:) I signed up for this myfitnessplan.com which a runner friend of mine recommended to me. You write everything you eat and do actively and it tracks it for you. I am excited about it, and not excited. I HAVE NEVER been one to enjoy working out or eating right. Right now I am choosing between the cream filled cupcakes in the pantry or the grapefruit in the fridge. Honestly, which one would you choose? Who in their right mind would want to choose the latter? If you say you would, you probably are not a follower of my blog, I would be surprised if I even know you, or can even relate to you:) I know I just need to get the cupcakes out of the house, but there is a certain time of the month that I actually need them. It no longer becomes a want, but becomes a need. Thats no joke. Well, here's to the grapefruit and water, may it make all my dreams come true and drop me 4 sizes:)

God lessons...

What is God trying to teach me?

Why do I feel like I struggle so much learning to be content?

Why do I get jealous of others who seem to have it all together?

Why do I not have it all together (unrealistic I know)?

Why does it seem that God continues to poor out blessing on certain friends of mine, and not me?

Why do these friends not understand that they are so blessed and that they might be rubbing it in other faces when they talk?

Why do I have to feel like a girl who is not happy with my life when the Lord has blessed me with so much?

How can I spend time with Jesus in the morning and in the evening come back to the same struggles?

AHH...thinking this stuff and reading this stuff makes me excited about glory, and also want to pull a "airplane" move and smack myself in the face saying "get a hold of yourself!"

Sometimes i wish i had moved to India and made a life for myself there, than maybe I wouldnt feel so "western" and materialistic. But then again I am sure some other sin would break me down and lead me back to the cross daily.

not for the weak stomach....

Jay is obsessed with anatomy. Mainly female. Mainly mine. For a couple of months I have not allowed him to see me change clothes because he was a little to interested. Lately he has been asking if he can touch my boobs. goodness. So we have been talking A LOT about private parts. Yesterday I was laying in bed with him and he asked me if I had a penis. I told him "No, only boys have them." He said, "well, I will just pull down your pants and see." I of course said no and that it was private. He said "well I have little privates on the top, but you, mommy, have big huge ones, that I'm not allowed to touch." ...I think he's gonna be a boob man. ...And how does my three year old already make me feel uncomfortable and self-conscious?

Miles had his "first." Actually, it was a first for Davon and I as parents. Miles woke up (at 11am-a usual for him:), and Davon hears him talking away. He then hears him repeatedly say, yucky, yucky poo poo. So Davon casually walks into the room and then yells for me to come there.....this is what we saw.

He was still sucking away at his lovey, that yes, was covered in poop as well. He went in the bath and everything was stripped and washed. This is the first time we have ever has a poop mess in the bed. It was so disgusting.

if only they could just talk to eachother...

We had "well checks" yesterday. I put it in quotes because Miles is not well, physically that is:)

Although he is a big boy, which we all new, he did have a double ear infection. I, honestly had no idea. He is slimming down though, still a little teddy bear! he is in the 97th percentile for height, weight and head. He was a such a good boy for the dr, sat on the table and pointed out all his body parts for her. He then started to point to the dr's body parts, and put his hand on her face, smiled and said "pretty." Oh no. This kid is not going to be easy. He did fine for his shots, as fine as a toddler can do, while having his legs pinned down to the table by some stranger who is putting a needle in him. He did however wake up from his nap with a fever of 104. Yeah, super high, I know, but I figure it was the shots and the ears. He is still sleeping now, so we'll see.

Jay was difficult, as normal lately, for the dr. He was wonderful ages 0 thru 2, but lately he is a pain. I guess its all about him testing me right? He is also big, 97th for height 90th for weight. I was proud of him for knowing all his shapes and explaining to the the dr why she is not allowed to touch his private parts:)

The doctor asked about both of the boys speech. She asked if Miles was able to say 5 words or more? He is definitely saying more:) He knows that to get what he wants he says words, most of his words are a certain type of food group or toy, but thats his life I guess:) Lately he has been so sick, so "boogers" and "yuck" is a new fave. ...Jay does not shut up (which we have been learning that it is a bad word that for "some reason" people say it around him all the time, but he is not allowed!) He talks soo much. Mainly in questions. And ALL directed to me. It doesnt matter if Davon is around or not, they are all questions I need to answer. I have wanted to yell "ASK YOUR DAD!!!!" But I have found that I actually do have so much more patience than Davon. I think Davon can get through about 5 consecutive questions and then he tells him to stop talking. haha. yesterday i do believe that I said to Jay "Jay, can you please stop talking to me?" Even after I said it though I felt bad, like I hurt his feelings. I guess thats why I'm the mom and Davon is the dad, the questions do drive me crazy, but i guess honestly i am sad when they stop. I love that both of them want to chat with me so much, although miles is 2-3 words at a time, I look forward to the day when they just chat with each other. But I guess then I will be pumping out another baby and this will begin all over again!

Today we are off to a "pirate cove" for playdate for Jay, he is super excited about it. Pictures to come....

a conversation between boys...

Jay has a new best friend here. Granted no one with take the place of his cousin Marley, and two friends Noah and Davis, but Gavin is starting to become a close second.

In the van yesterday I hear this.

"Jay, is your mom sometimes mean to you?"-Gavin

"Yeah, she is, she sometimes even spanks my bottom."-Jay

"Yeah, my mom was going to pull my pants down and "slap" me at the bricks because she was so mad at me."-Gavin

(jay changes the subject, maybe he doesnt want to bring up his indiscretions)

"My Noni knit me a pirate sweater at her house"-Jay

"Oh my mom has a really beautiful scarf at her house, she is not wearing it right now, but it is so beautiful"-Gavin

"My mom has a really pretty pick shirt"-Jay

and on and on with random facts.

Today is Gavins bday party. Maybe I am a bad mom, but I am taking Jay even though he woke up with a fever of 103.5. He has been talking about the party for weeks and has even asked to take the invitation to bed with him:) I think he likes having a friend:)

marriage

tonight my mom and I watched some movie on tv. This couple meets, gets married like a week later, their in laws meet eachother, the husbands mom starts cheating with the wifes dad? Then the husband finds out the wife had been married twice before. He divorces her for dishonesty. Meanwhile parents are still cheating. Then the exs decide to get back together and marry again. In the end everyone finds out about the cheating and what not. The couple gets divorced but decides to live together for the rest of their life. Wow. Hollywood? or real world? In the movie the guys says that maybe marriage is like a really long fad?

So what is marriage? My mom said to me during the movie, "thats the secular world honey." ok, if so then why get married? If no one really wants to stick it out for the long haul, you remember the "until death do us part?" Granted, I am lucky to have a man that treats me so well. But if we dont truly believe in the institution of marriage, then why do it? Cause its what we do in our twenties and thirties?

In my discipleship group our study for four weeks is marriage, a real biblical view of marriage. If we were being married to be examples of Christ for the world would we then be willing to stick it out for the sake of Christ? When marriage becomes your completion, or fulfillment, when it has to do with you, then I think we are missing the point. Take a minute and read Ephesians 5:17-33 or Colossians 3:15-19, the point is this. Marriage is about God - Not us. The minute we start living as Paul teaches, and God says, is the minute we are walking align God's purpose. It is about us becoming weaker so that He can be stronger.

I love being married. Davon is such a blessing and provides so much happiness for our family. But ultimately our hope and prayer is that we be an example of Christ and God's love for us. We pray that the love that we have for oneanother might always be a reflection of Christ's love for all of us.

goonies never die...

I love that movie. Not sure why I used it for the title, i guess just to say I have decided to continue to blog, here and there. I have been messaged by a few of my friends who apparently avid reader of this ah-mazing blog and have encouraged me to keep going. So its not dead. I will keep going. Sorry for the tease. (however Melody, I still would like the list of reasons:)

I am sitting here watching Dora after eating a not very delicioso meal, Jay is paying attention quietly and Miles, as usual is running around pulling out toys that I spent twenty minutes putting away and screaming words, most of which no one would know. But a few that we do: NO, Dont touch, hungry, cracker, Diego, ball, truck, and plenty more NO's. This kid is a ball of energy all-day-long. He loves to dance, his new dance skills take on the appearance of a sumo wrestler, its pretty hilarious. Although he has slimmed down his coloring and chunky body in a cloth diaper really resembles one. He has been such a pill this week, with an ear infection and sinus infection, but today (of course the day we take him back to the dr) he seems 100% better. Why do we waste the money at the dr?

And did I mention the thing about the toys (of course I did, I can easily go back and read it), why do I even clean up the toys when they are awake? They just seem to want to play with them more when they are neatly put away vs on the floor?

I asked Davon how I could better serve him as a wife and helpmate, he said pray for him (which I love that he loves the Lord so much), and keep our bedroom clean. Ugh, I hate keeping my room tidy!! But here's to starting a new era as a wife, a tidy one.

......as i am typing Miles is head banging and laughing, head banging then laughing, and on and on....this kid is nuts.

i think its time to quit....

So I think that I have decided to stop blogging. I enjoy reading certain peoples blogs, but for me I think it doesnt make sense. I never know what to write and when i do write I feel like its a waste of time for me. So i think this will be the last time that I blog. Thanks to the few who did read!