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Thursday, December 30, 2010

my turn

I dont have pictures. Only memories.
Davon said because I blogged about him injuring Miles I should blog about how i injured Jay.
We were at a friends house for dinner, I took him out of the van and said go see daddy. I thought he did, I turned my back to walk to the back of the van to get a bag out of the trunk, and slammed the door shut. Immediately after I heard Jays screams. Yep, he hadnt walked to daddy, instead he was reaching in and trying to get his hat. I was terrified at what happened, but quickly opened the door, picked him up and held him, calmly trying to calm him down. He calmed down and was able to show me his fingers. They were all still there (thank God) and he was able to move all of them:) Just a big gash on his thumb. A band-aid did the trick!! He went on to wrestle with the middle schoolers for hours:)

Sunday, December 26, 2010

oops...dropped him

I've been meaning to blog about this with photos!
For Jays third birthday we took him bowling.
So fun.
Davon was playing with Miles, in the air, as dads do. Yep, dropped him. On the bowling alley floor.
All I kept saying to Davon was "I'm so mad at you."
Miles cried for a while, after much comfort from mommy and daddy, he stopped, but still wanted to snuggle. (not with daddy-the trust was teetering)
The next day Davon was watching him in the room, and Miles fell off the bed. He was done with Dad at this point. Laid his head on my shoulder and stared at Davon with his big crocodile tears like, "you did this to me." The trust was gone.
Poor buddy

Monday, December 13, 2010

P31

I have always felt like I married the man of my dreams. He is such a hard worker, and works hard at home too. I wish there was a proverb or something about a man of God like there is Proverbs 31 for a woman. We joke about how I can probably count on two hands the amount of times I have given our boys a bath. I am pretty sure miles was like 6 months the first time I actually gave him a bath. Davon would not miss a moment with them, especially at that age, given all they really want is mommy.
Every night when ever a boy cries I nudge Davon waking him up and making him get out of bed to take care of them, which he rarely has a complaint about. Last night we heard crying, which is always Jay having some kind of dream, or needing the covers, or asking a random 4am question, but it was Miles. Not knowing that at the moment I got Davon up to go talk to what I thought was Jay, but after he left I realized the cries were Miles. So I got out of bed to see what was wrong (it is soo infrequent Miles wakes up in the night, this was very strange). I walked around the corner to go to his room, and the smell hit me. I walked in to find my husband taking Miles' puke drenched jammies off. So I started helping. Which honestly if I hadnt gotten out of bed I think he would have tried to handle it all by himself. He washed Miles down and I stripped and lysoled the bed and moved Jay into ours. I then took Miles and held him while he vomited more, and when he was done all he wanted was for daddy to hold him. All i could do was watch this picture and smile. Davon is a wonderful husband and the best father any child could ask for. I can not imagine life without out him and I am beyond thankful for the blessing he is in my life.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

stink

So as my boys get older they have a stink to them.
Jay can have the worst morning breath! and its the only time he wants to snuggle, and then chat! I have to make him brush his teeth right away, its gross. He also loves to fart. Thinks everything about it is hilarious.
Miles has just a stink to him. (and secretly i love it). He sucks his thumb while holding his lovey, so he in turn gets saliva all over him through the night and nap. My sister says he smells like chocolate spit:) It has such a sweet nasty smell, but I love it!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

my feet hurt!

I got great new boots today that I rocked out all day long, while shopping with my mom, now my feet are killing me!
It is so hard for me not to want to buy Jay so many things. I really dont want to make it a habit of him getting overloaded for christmas, but his birthday is also here, and I look at so many things and think how much he would love to play with them!But all he wants from Santa is a skateboard, so thats what he is getting, and then of course something from us his parents. I used to think, why doesnt mom get us anything for christmas, why just santa? So Jay gets a present from us and a present from Santa, then of course my parents and my siblings.
My issue is Miles. He plays with all of Jay's toys and I see things that I know he will like, but not sure how much its worth something that will hold his attention for 10 minutes. I WILL NOT buy light up sound making toys, not because they annoy me, but because they dont stimulate their creativity and imagination, they merely entertain. If I want entertainment I can turn on the tv and we can all be entertained! VTECH the brand just irritates me. So that leaves me to the expensive wooden toys, which I LOVE, but dont want to empty my bank for my 1 year old christmas!! I love that they are recycled toys and will last forever. But again am I willing to spend the money? I love him, but honestly, its a toy, and he has plenty.
I am not a scrooge, just realistic. So who knows what he is gonna get? Ideas are welcome, just dont be surprised if I nix them:)

Friday, November 19, 2010

many roles of a mom

In my discipleship group we have been talking about spiritual gifts and if we are using ours, especially when we are all stay at home moms and spend all waking hours with our children. This is a hard thing for me to answer. I believe that the proverbs wife, and the wife referred to in Titus all are home ministries. After all, it really is the wife that runs the household right?! So yes, this is a job, and the most important. So is that myself, or am I losing myself? I keep trying to make myself into some super mom I think. I try to will it up myself.
The playful mom: one that always play with her kids instead of checking email, watching tv, or checking facebook (yeah right, thats what I want people to believe, but it actuality, I am blogging while Jay is watching curious george?!).
The crafty mom: one that is always working on projects with the kids, teaching them new things about the world around us, always knitting something new, or coming up with some cool project.
The stylish mom: one that always looks cute and trendy, not your typical mom jeans/ denim skirt.
a chef mom: one that is always coming up with new ideas of what to cook or bake, and because of this my kids will always be wonderful eaters (this is drenched with sarcasm).
the volunteer mom: one that is active in the community around me, and my church. Always ready to help where ever its needed. Teenagers love me and want to be around me and my family.

So many roles I feel like i need to fill. But in all of this am I working for man, or for God? I think that the answer is plain as day. I think that facebook gives an unrealistic picture of moms, its yourself writing what good things you can think of (for the most part). Can we be honest and say that we fall short a lot? Or at least I do? I am trying to will myself to play all these roles. So what role does God want me to play, and in that am I using the spiritual gifts that God has equipped me with? I think that this is the hardest thing for me as a stay at home mom. How about you?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Sleep....

All day yesterday Miles had a fever, from 101 to 103. So I anticipated a loooonng night with him. I put him to bet at 7:30 after giving tylenol around 5pm. He went to sleep without a peep. At around 11 Davon and I hear him saying "mama, mama". Davon goes in to check and says he is burning up. Fever was 103, yet this kid was not crying, but smiling and laughing. We gave him ice water, tylenol and kissed him, in turn he waved and plainly said "Nigh-Night". Put him down and he woke up at 8 this morning....love this kid.
On the other hand my sabator, Jay, had nightmares all night, waking every hour and a half or so, and even wet the bed. All the while my sick Miles slept.
I love them both. I love miles sleep:) Sorry Jay.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

slow down

lately i feel like I have been trying to reach out and make my place here in atlanta and not spend enough time with my boys. I have been making friends and going out, designing playdates (when the one doing the "playing" is the shy one and would rather be home). Trying to get out of the house as much as I can.
I have been also very crabby and short tempered lately. Waking up with a bad attitude vs spending time with the Lord and being ready to take on the day.
Tomorrow I have discipleship in the morning babysitting in the afternoon. Friday busy morning of car stuff and then Bricks at night. So saturday, you are my day for time with my boys, playing at the park riding bikes, whatever is kiddish and fun.
I love having sons, i love they both like to get dirty (it took jay a minute), I love that we can just go play and they can be blissfully happy.

I just had to write this down, in some ways now that I have written I feel like I am being held accountable to step it up as a mother.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

kids say the darndest....

Sometimes Jay says the cutest things and then I totally forget. My mom keeps telling me that I need to write it down...and then I forget to write it....
lately Jay is into encouragement and words of affirmation (a kid after my heart);
Davon and I were on our way out to a fancy dinner and he was dressed up, Jay said "Woah daddy, youre the boss."
Davon was eating his dinner all gone, which is not unexpected in our house, and Jay looked at him and said "daddy you are eating dinner all gone, oooh daddy, I'm so proud of you."
He constantly calls his cousin Marley a pretty princess.
He always says, "Momma, you are the prettiest girl in the world, so beautiful."

For some reason he has not been that encouraging to my dad. "Popi, why are your feet so yucky, whats wrong with your toes?"
The other day we were sitting at the dinner table and Jay looked at him and plainly states, "Popi, you need a shower!"
To which my mom lost it and asked Jay, "How do I look?" He replies-"Noni, your a babe!"

I love this kid and his comments.

Monday, October 11, 2010

breast is best...

So I am cleaning the house today and getting the meat out to thaw for dinner, when I notice the three bags of breastmilk I still have frozen in the freezer. Three of them, one from July, one from August, and one from April! The one from April was the 9 ouncer. For all of you breastfeeding moms this may be nothing to you, but for some it may be a lot. For me its the beast of milk. The most I have ever pumped in one sitting I believe. Hence it still being in there. When Davon watched Miles or anyone for that matter, I would specifically say "Dont use the 9 oz bag." Just looking at it made me proud and I did not want to waste it. Well now, I am not even sure if its useable!
This leads me to my story. I will make it quick because I know I hate reading long blogs!
Miles was a surprise baby for us. We were NOT planning on it and were not ready for him. (or so we thought:) I was not excited through most of my pregnancy, I was probably more excited for all of my friends that were pregnant than for myself. The one thing I was excited about was the chance to actually enjoy nursing. I didnt enjoy it with Jay. He was so tiny when he was born it made it difficult and then I kept getting infections here and there and he kept getting thrush. By the end (10 months) he pushed me away. At about 7 months though I had introduced formula so it was fine. But I was forever sad about it. So with Miles I was excited, a new baby a new chance, and sooo much easier.....
Miles was born, latched great, I was in heaven. 2 days later my milk came in along with a yeast infection. (in the breast-apparently I wrote yeast infection on facebook and my friend josh thought it was someplace else:)--i was embarrassed!-something about that made me feel shy, but anything boob related I could care less, I guess its a nursing mom thing?) Anyway this type of pain I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. I have had two babies with no pain medication and I would take that over this infection. It feels like glass coming through your nipples. Not to mention that they would bleed and form sores and scabs that would rip off every time he nursed. Which was every three hours. As soon as the pain started I knew what it was remembering with Jay. It kept getting worse though. I went to the lactation consultants within a week of having Miles. I was then diagnosed with Reynauds Syndrome. Its when something goes through trauma if anything cold touches it, even air, blood flow stops rushing to it. It too is very painful. So the treatment for yeast is air and no moisture, the treatment for reynauds is heat. ? Then a day later I started running a fever of 104. I developed mastitis from a clogged infected duct. The treatment for a clogged duct is heat, but with a fever I need cold packs. Also treatment for mastitis is antibiotics, which actually breed yeast. ....and around and around we go. So after about 3 solid weeks I could nurse pain free. I actually kept going! I reached out to anyone that would listen to my cries and knew what I was going through. Most of my friends thought I was crazy not to quit, even the lactation consultant told me she would be surprised if I made it to 6 weeks let alone 6 months. I kept going and kept getting infections. Kept paying the $50 for meds to treat it. Until finally i realized uv rays made the infection go away. So instead of sitting butt naked in the sun, I went to the tanning bed. Not only was it helping me nurse, but I was starting to look pretty hot! So I kept going. Through prayer, meds, the tanning bed and stubbornness I made it! I am actually still going. Not everyday, but whenever I want to, or Miles wants to. Cause I can.
So anyway this is just what one bag of breastmilk led me to.
.....and I guess it ended up being super long anyway!

Friday, October 8, 2010

growing up and slimming down...

So I think as Miles grows, gets more active and starts to walk, he is getting more and more slim. My chubby baby is soon to be no more. As he gets older he gets skinnier, today this seems to familiar........Why is it that most of my friends have lost weight or gotten smaller since high school, or even college. I have NEVER had a losing weight issue. Its always gain. Sometimes I get super frustrated about it. Does it just come easy for these people, is it just growing up, or are they working it off? Either way sometimes I would like to delete my facebook just so I dont have to see it!!
On a encouraging not, my sister and I have been walking almost everyday. Today we got up to 4 miles! Next week she wants to add in running.....
Post this one as my profile pic.....I can hear it now "wow she looks ahhmazing!"



Tuesday, October 5, 2010

snuggle bugs

Tuesday mornings Davon gets up and goes to work at 5:45, he has discipleship. So what it his usual job of changing miles diaper and taking jay to the potty becomes my job. I thought I was done nursing, but Miles is always super fussy when I get him in the morning, I find the only thing that calms him is the nursing, so I am still going. (Don't worry I am most definitely not a believer in nursing a child that can ask you for it) So after nursing Miles, I get he and Jay situated on the couch under a blanket-cause its fall and oooh so chilly! So now as I write the are watching the cat in the hat, eating cherrios, while Miles head is resting on Jay's shoulder. Sure there is the normal, "Miles is taking my cherrios", "Miles is gonna hit me," "Miles, is being fussy at me," but if you could put the scene on mute it would be so adorable:)
of course in the picture no snuggling is happening, they are not good at staying in character for pictures yet!
and please excuse the shiner on miles forehead, a shelf fell on him:) (he's the climbing monkey of the family!)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

my model children:)

So for years people have been telling me to put the boys in modeling. Well, Jay for years, Miles for months. Heres the truth: I believe that all moms think that their children are the cutest kids. If I am being honest, I think everyone that I know (with the exception of one and the child is a girl so it doesnt count:) does not have as cute kids as I do. BUT, my problem is I know that its just me who believes that. I mean really, you look at everyones facebook and they say how their kid is the cutest, funniest, best dressed, most adorable, if a mom had a choice her kid would get every "who's who" award there is!
All this to say that last night I decided to try to put Miles in a competition for Parents Magazine, to win money and possibly a family vacation. In all honesty, just cause we need the money, and would LOVE the vacation! The whole time I was uploading the pictures I felt sick to my stomach, knowing I was going to have to ask all the other mom friends of mine to vote my kid as the cutest, when the whole time they are probably thinking "I should sign my kid up for this, he is cuter that Miles." And then what if we don't win and some other, to me, not as cute kid wins, then I will be frustrated. Not to mention it took me about an hour just picking out the pictures I thought might be the cutest. I am so critical of pictures (probably cause I am the one taking them!). So as I get to the end and submit the pictures it doesnt work? I get super frustrated, and try all over again. Again doesnt work. So maybe its God sparing me from my own crazy mom emotions. Or maybe its Him sparing my friends having to compare their kids to the most beautiful children in the world:)!! (even that statement irritates me, but it was fun to say:)






Wednesday, September 22, 2010

These are the moments you realize....

How good you have it.
I have been in a state of complaining lately. I am sick of living with my parents. Frustrated we dont have money to spend. Sick of pinching pennies to end up with nothing. Missing my friends in SC. Missing the comfort of my old church home and how my kids were comfortable there. So I have been a kind of negative Nancy. But God puts it all into perspective.
A girl I went to high school with has recently found out her 2 year old has brain cancer. He started undergoing radiation today. He is Jays age. As I write this, I cry for her. I cry for the pain that she is going through having to see her precious son endure such pain and sickness. I pray that the Lord can give her the extra strength when she doesnt have any. I pray for Kelly's husband that will have to have even more strength to hold Kelly when she is falling apart. I don't understand why God allows things like this to happen especially to someone so young. This is something I think most will never understand about God. It pushes some to press into Him more, whereas it pushes others to turn there back on Him. I pray for Kelly and her family to press into God. I pray for Peyton ( there little boy) for God to give him supernatural strength and that in his own little age and his own little knowledge that he might come to find Jesus and His peace.
Please pray with me.
her caring bridge website is...... http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/peytonmccormick
if you would like to keep updated on how to pray

maybe he needs a xanax?

So I never want to blog, I feel like other people are so interesting sounding, I also feel like I have about two people that actually read, but its fun to say that "I BLOG"...so here I go again!

I do love my two sons soo much. Its funny how similiar they are and yet so different. Miles is not afraid of anything, he loves to try to touch bugs and get his hands dirty. They are both laid back personalities, but Miles is a little sassy. He gets an attitude with me when I take things away, and when his brother is telling him what to do. He scrunches up his little nose and yells at me, or Jay (never really daddy?). He hasnt quite gotten the "no" concept yet. He loves to touch everything he shouldn't. He even reaches out to touch and looks to see if I am not looking (sneeky:) I am pretty sure I love Miles because he is a lot like me.

Jay is just like his daddy. Personalities are almost identical. He is very obedient, sure he is a 2 year old so he tests me, but it always apologetic and he listens to "no" better than most. Since he was a baby I never baby proofed, all it took with Jay was a simple no and he would stop. He hates being dirty, is terrified of bugs, and very shy. (not me at all!!)
This leads me to last night. We went to the Atlanta Thrashers hockey game and there is a mascot bird called Thrash. Jay of course saw him on the ice skating around and was so taken by Thrash. He made me walk around and look for him, much to Jay's saddness we could not find him. Until he found us... He came up and sat next to Davon. Which for most kids would be so exciting! My son is terrified of the chic fila cow, so he started screaming crying telling the bird to "go, leave me alone." Poor bird. Of course the rest of the night every two minutes he would ask where's the bird. It got super annoying and I was ready to be done with the game and out of the arena! In November we are taking Jay to Disney, maybe I should give him a xanax or something? Do they have a childrens form?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

I am blessed...

Blessed to have two of the most adorable kids in the world.
Blessed because they love each other so much and love to give each other kisses and hugs.
Blessed because my husband likes to watch girlie movies with me.
Blessed that Davon has mondays off, a day no longer dreaded, but longed for.
Blessed that the Lord has given us such an amazing opportunity at our church to minister to youth and to be ministered to.
(why is it that all churches do not set up life on life discipleship for all their staff?)
Blessed to have women around me already that love me and want to pour into me.
Blessed that my Miles wins MVP of the nursery every week. (he is the most well behaved, hence given MVP-I feel bad for the other moms when I pick him up and all the nursery workers are telling me how wonderful Miles is)
Blessed (?) that I have another son who screams every time I drop him off at nursery because he doesnt want me to leave him (I know this will not always be like this, there will come a day when he wants me to leave him alone, may even beg me to do so)
Blessed to have a Lord who wants to see me, Tara Stack, happy, and continuously amazes me everyday.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

teething and so much more....

Its been a little bit since I have written.
I have quite a few breakdowns this past week.
Miles has been gradually fussier and I was not sure why, and hadnt really noticed that he was until I hung out with a friends baby who is the same exact age, thats when I realized it!
Yesterday though I saw a big white spot on his gums and realized his top tooth is coming in! I remember someone saying they heard on the news that someone gave birth to a baby that already had their teeth in. The girl who was telling me this was not a nursing mother so she was like, can you imagine that pain. Truthfully, if your child is nursing correctly, you shouldnt feel that pain. SO, yes let me birth my next baby to have all their teeth, of course healthy, and maybe could he/she be potty trained? Is that too much to ask Lord?
Jay has not been regressing in potty training, but he is having this problem that when he pees in the toilet he doesnt push it down, intern spraying the pee straight out of the toilet getting clothes, floor, and himself wet....super fun.
There is a lot more that has been going on in myself spiritually lately, God is breaking down walls in me and healing a lot. There is a fire that he has put in my heart for His people, and I really could go so much into that, but of course Miles is waking up! (its 9:30, praise God!) Maybe thats for a late night post, for right now just the shallow stuff!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

penis wars (yeah i said it!)

so jay being potty trained, is a little more naked than i usually let him be. He goes to the potty on his own and takes his shorts off, he just cant quite get the shorts back on! So hence the nakedness. Well his loves to play with miles and miles sitting up is about face to face with Jays privates. I am sitting on the computer as I am watching Jay pull at his own penis to show it to Miles telling him about pee pee. Should have got a picture but it was such a quick little moment. I am sure than there will be many more days of comparing their manhoods, as I think this is a fairly normal guy thing to do...or maybe my child is bizarre, that could be it too!
Also I find gross things so cute and funny. I think its hilarious that when jay blows his nose he always has to look at it to see the boogers he has accomplished! I think its funny now that he poops in the potty he calls is a snake and is sometimes afraid it will come out of the toilet and bite him! Haha. He loves when Miles spits up and runs to him with a cloth saying "My do it momma!"
I do love being a mom to little boys, so funny the things that come out of jays mouth, or other places!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

beautiful story

This story was emailed to me by a friend of mine and touched my heart in so many ways. I hope you all get out of it what I did and it touches you. I know that as my children grow up I will feel more and more like this women, I hope that I can truly know that the work that I am doing is the work God set out for me to build. Whether a cathedral or a sand castle, it is for His glory. (thanks for sharing Sarah!):

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fuelled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

accidents happen

Ok, so today we have had a couple of accidents. Miles woke up at 10 which was soo late for him, but wonderful. Jay watched Diego while I sat and rocked miles and nursed him, looking out at the beautiful day, seemed like it was going to be great. After finishing feeding miles I set him on my bed with Jay to watch cartoons while I changed his sheets (he slept for 13 hours, yes he was soaked through and through!) He extra linens where just washed so I ran downstairs to get them. Just as I got downstairs, a loud boom, like a bowling ball hitting the floor, then immediately after miles screaming crying. Jay never fell off the bed so I was so worried, this was the first time ever! I ran upstairs, picked him up and rocked him, he quickly calmed down. I then asked my two year old what happened and the best way he could describe it was that he pushed miles. I was so angry with Jay, he started balling, then I came to realize he just meant that miles fell just didnt know how to word it. He just kept saying "Miles fell, Miles fell." I felt awful. Everyone calmed down and we went on our day.
So we went to have lunch and a little pool time at Melodys. I have been so proud and excited that we have had no accidents since we started potty training. (poopy that is). Of course we are at a friends house and i just spent the last half hour bragging on Jay, I am getting miles his food ready because he is fussy and i noticed the brown on jays bathing suit-thought it was mud. So im inside and I hear melody say man I smell poop, she does have the pregnant woman senses, and for sure that wasnt mud. Reminds me of the line from Tommy Boy, "Hey chubbo, that doesnt smell like mud." And yes it was nasty. But hey it happens, Jay seemed as though it was no biggie, and continued to eat his craisins and goldfish, I in fact wanted to shake him and say this is a big deal kid!! But of course i was in front of grass loving melody and I didnt want her to think I was this uptight mom (which just so happens, I kind of am.) I am pyscho when it comes to my childrens schedules, sleeping, eating etc. Even if Jay doesnt poop at his regular time I start to wonder what have I been feeding him that is causing this change, do I need to do something different, if he getting enough fiber,....I know, take it easy right?! I am trying to be more laid back with miles, but I am sure I will be just as nutty. Luckily i have an amazing husband, who the Lord has designed for me and he deals with it, gracefully and lovingly! (I think even likes it a little, ya know dealing with a wife who is a little goofy:)

starting this up for sanity sake

So it was generally a rough day yesterday. God has been working on my heart about a lot of things and I had a major break down yesterday afternoon. Crying, yelling, the whole bit. The children went to sleep pretty fast. You know Jay is scared of momma when he asks for nigh nights please momma. Afternoon was good and evening was even better. Jay ceases to crack me up with his constant fears. Everything they say about adventurous boys is thrown out the window with that on. He was terrified when he got up to the top of the steps at the chic fil a playground he was frozen screaming crying. Of course they dont make those things to easily fit us "fuller" moms! Luckily David Dubois was there to climb up and help Jay get through to the slide. Once he slid down (and by slide I mean scoot by scoot meander down) he want to cheerfully go "AGAIN." um that was a no. Came home put the boys to bed, chatted with my husband in bed and we both fell asleep......Miles window breaking screams started at 2:45. I am not in the habit of letting babies cry it out. It is like emotional, physical torment for me. I feel ill the whole time and if he gets queit for a few minutes i cant calm down enough to relax until the next cries start. And they did, for an hour straight. I believe he is officially asleep, its now 4:15. Miles is such a stubborn boy. With Jay we used so many methods to soothe him, rocking, patting, shhhing, the paci, etc. NOTHING works with Miles, he just wants to be nursed. But he doesnt need it and I dont want to create a bad habit, or at least prolong what i have created. It is soo hard for me to listen to his cries though knowing it would take me less than five minutes to put him back to sleep using that method. But I must endure this for him and for me! I blog about this cause I normally would chat with my husband about it, but thats the great thing about husbands, THEY CAN SLEEP THROUGH ANYTHING!
The blessing out of it, Jay stayed asleep the whole time! And they share a room!